


Stuck On You! Five Days Attached To Your Partner?

by Sarahsorad



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Other, Platonic Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-28
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 22:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/471466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarahsorad/pseuds/Sarahsorad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weapons and Meisters are used to living with one another and sharing space; but how much shared space is too much? Having to be within three feet of someone for five days in a row could ruin even the best friendships. How will our heroes fare with one of the most sadistic assignments ever? SoMa for sure, possible other pairings, Rating may go up but no lemons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of those stories that I really want to do but don't really know where I'm going with... but we'll get there eventually?  
> I'm also trying a hand at writing multiple points of view and trying to make sure it doesn't come out choppy so tell me how I'm doing on that.
> 
> Pairings wise I definitely intend to slip in some SoMa and if I can I want to try some Blackstar and Tsubaki, not quite sure about Kid because he's kind of hard to write in character romance for things that aren't pyramids.
> 
> I also might end up taking this plot bunny to an RP sometime, spent a good few weeks trying to figure out the best way to have the character stuck together but also have them be able to function.

The book to the head was the final straw for the already irritated Scythe.

"What the hell is wrong with you Maka? That hurt!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're the one that can't just listen to me."

"You're the one not listening here."

"I hate you so much!"

"I hate you more!"

"I hate you most!"

"I hated you first!"

"Die!"

"Die? You die!"

Usually Blair could piece together the cause of a Maka and Soul argument but this time the feline wasn't sure and could only assume that the assignment from Professor Stein had to be at least the underlying cause, only two days in and already spelling disaster. Blair decided it was time to make her escape from the noisy apartment if she couldn't get her nap at least she could go see about getting some treats from her admirers.

Perhaps it would be best to start at the beginning.

Maka Albarn was usually never one to complain about new assignments, she enjoyed her course work and considered the challenging lessons to be the most fun ones even if they did have her somewhat frustrated for an hour or two. However; even Maka had objections to the lesson Professor Stein had just announced.

"But this is a major privacy invasion to those of us who have partners with opposite genders."

The Professor shrugged "If you've resonated souls before, and I know you two have; then you should reconsider your definition of privacy."

"but..." she was flustered and stumbling over her words "But what about doing stuff like taking a shower and getting dressed? I can't do that with Soul around."

A few voices called out in agreement with her but the Professor knew how to quell her argument, Maka was a fairly simple girl to bargain with if someone knew what motivated her.

"Well if you don't want to participate in the assignment then that's fine; I'm sure your grade can take the hit. A "B" isn't a bad grade by any means really."

Ox-Ford and his partner had already accepted the assignment, Maka saying no would mean losing her spot at the top of the class to him and she wouldn't have that, she'd sooner die. She didn't hesitate to clasp Soul's hand in her own and thrust their now joined hands towards Stein.

The assignment, a resonance strengthening technique was fairly simple, a meister and weapon were to have to stay within three feet of one another for five days in a row. It could easily make or break partnerships if so many teams hadn't been able to cheat on it in the past. Stein had been one of the cheating students when he was Spirit's meister and while even with cheating their resonance was better he wanted to see what the effects of the students being forced to complete the assignment would be.

In the past students would be given a length of rope or something along those lines, some teachers would have them handcuffed to one another, of course there was no way to monitor them when they weren't on campus and simple things such as changing clothes were a problem. Franken Stein enjoyed his opportunity to reinvent the wheel on this assignment.

Using his own soul wavelength the professor was able to thread a small bridge between each pair, not enough to hold them firmly enough to one another, but since it was his Soul he would know when a pair had split up. They would be able to function mostly normally this way and still be forced to complete the assignment. He had to fight to contain his excitement about how good or bad this would go for his students.

"Alright students, your five days start now. Separation within the first 24 hours means an automatic grade of F, within 48 hours a D, 72 a C 96, a B and an A for any pair that makes it to 120 hours. Class dismissed, have fun!"

Before the students were all able to exit the classroom one pair had already accidentally split up when they tried to walk in opposite directions.

"And that's an F."

Maka was determined not to let that happen to her. Her first mission upon leaving the classroom (whist holding on to Soul to ensure he didn't end up too far from her) was to confiscate Soul's ear buds to help keep the two tied together.

"You're going to ruin them Maka."

"You have tons anyway and this is important."

"We can manage to stay within three feet of each other without the need for this."

"I can't take that risk. If it really bothers you that much I promise I'll buy you new ones if these get messed up."

"This is the most uncool assignment ever. You realize you're going to have to just trust me to stay close and untie me for the drive home right?"

Maka shrugged, "We have to set some ground rules if this is going to work."

"This isn't going to work."

"Soul! I can't let us get beat by Ox and Harver. We at least have to outlast them. Now let's get down to ground rules."

He rolled his eyes; this was going to be a long five days.

"One: don't talk when I'm studying. You don't have to study but you at least have to be quiet. Two: I have to get at least seven hours of sleep a night so you might have to go to bed earlier than normal. Deal with it. Three: we're sleeping in your room because your bed is bigger. Four: I take morning showers and that isn't going to change. Five: you still aren't allowed to copy my homework. Six: neither of us can cop out of this."

"Maka…"

"I'm not done. Seven: no interrupting me! Eight: No listening to one another's phone calls or reading each others' texts without permission."

"Maka!"

"Soul stop! Nine: no peeking at my journal. Ten if you get a-"

"Maka!"

"What the hell do you want Soul?" she growled, suppressing the urge to hit Soul with a book and potentially accidently end up separating.

"I have to piss!"

"Oh." And with that statement Maka finally realized that she'd never wanted it to be Friday so badly in her life.

Tsubaki was slightly hesitant about being stuck so closely to Blackstar for so long of course his only request to her was "Just try not to slow me down too much." Naturally she was busy formulating several requests for him but she hasn't quite worked out how to explain to him that she was currently in the midst of the worst cramps of her lifetime and that she would likely want to cause physical harm to the boy if his antics were up to their usual level. This assignment just had to fall during the middle of the month didn't it? She could only hope her friends were in a better position than she was right now.

But could anyone really be okay if they knew they were going to have to listen to five days full of "But this can never be even somewhat symmetrical!"

Death The Kidd was at it again, this time trying to convince Liz and Patty that spending five days in weapon form was the best way to pass the assignment.

"Kidd there is no way in hell I am going to stay in weapon form for five days you are out of your mind."

He had to be, there was no way spending five days in weapon form was healthy. How would she and Patty eat or function if they had to be guns for five days in a row? Of course Patty wasn't offering much help when it came to convincing the young Shinigami to suck up a little asymmetry for a few days. He had chosen the sisters as his weapons first and for most for their symmetry but with them in human form they weren't perfectly symmetrical which Kidd could deal with for the most part but give days in a row would be hard for him.

"Asymmetry! Asymmetry! Eh, see a tree?" The younger of the Thompson sisters pranced around cackling and singing while Liz tried to handle the situation.

"You're just going to have to suck it up Kidd."

"But Liz! Please don't make me!"

"You're the one trying to make me do stuff."

"Please Liz, I'm begging you!"

"No."

"Liz!" His voice was reduced to a pitiful wine and his lips were forming a very unmanly pout, she couldn't stand it when he did this. For one thing it was very unbecoming of a Shinigami and for another it didn't always make saying no easy.

"No."

Except for this time, this time it was still easy to say no.

He was crying, he was seriously crying, Patty was cackling even louder and Liz decided that she somewhat understood the appeal of hardcore drugs.

It was going to be a long five days.


	2. The Birds and the Bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spirit Albarn is concerned.

It was technically her fault.

"This is so damn embarrassing."

Yet she still did enough complaining for both of them.

"You were the one that couldn't bear to step into the men's room." Soul growled as he zipped the fly on his jeans stepping away from the bush he had just "watered" in the academy courtyard.

"I saw Kilik go in!"

"Thought you saw, that's different than actually seeing and it isn't like you'd be forced to stare at his junk."

"It would be too awkward! I'd rather die!"

"Geeze don't be so dramatic, you sound like Kidd. Speaking of Kidd you're supposed to meet him over that book aren't you?"

She rolled her eyes but nodded "I'm not over dramatic. I do have to meet him at 3:08."

The realization hit Soul like a freight train when he glanced at his watch.

"You have just under three minutes." Being late for a meeting with Kidd always meant a hissy fit and no one wanted to deal with one of those. Soul seized Maka's hand ready to rush to their destination but she stopped dead in her tracks.

Maka's face suddenly blanched and she grimaced "You didn't wash your hands."

Was she seriously about to go there? It wasn't like the hand he took her hand with had even come into contact with his fly let along his male genitalia.

"Do you see a sink? We are out-fucking-side Maka."

"You have to wash your hands before we go to see Kidd."

"That will require going to a bathroom and you said we couldn't do that."

"Professor Stein has a sink in his classroom."

"That's on the other side of the school."

"We're just going to have to hurry then won't we?"

Needless to say the two were five minutes late to meet up with Kidd and he was far from pleased.

"Why couldn't you wait another three minutes so you would be late symmetrically?"

"It's not my fault Soul doesn't wash his hands after he pees."

Of course Maka would leave out necessary details and Liz would be the first to comment "Eww, Soul seriously? Not cool."

"She made me piss in a bush. What else was I supposed to do?"

"I didn't want to go into the men's room!"

"How dare you desecrate my father's property in such a way!"

Liz rolled her eyes "It's a bush Kidd you've puked in them before ya' know."

"But that wasn't voluntary!"

Patty cackled loudly while she tried to emulate the sound of barf over her sister and meister's arguing.

Soul glared daggers at Maka "Now look what you've started."

"What I started?" Maka couldn't believe that Soul was planning to intentionally blame her for Liz and Kidd's banter. Meanwhile Patty proceeded to make more vomit sounds in between hysterical fits of laughter.

"You just had to bring up the bathroom stuff didn't you?"

"It was why we were late."

"You were why we were late."

Liz halted her back-and-fourth with Kidd when one particular sound from Patty sounded simply too real and made her stomach turn

"Patty stop that it's gross!"

The younger Thompson paused for a second before turning slightly green "Sis… I don't feel so good."

Kidd and Liz already knew what was coming next.

"Oh no."

Oh yes.

And after Patty's display of disgusting Soul couldn't have been more ready to go home. Of course Soul could never be so lucky; he and Maka were intercepted by Spirit Albarn who had staked out at Soul's bike waiting on the duo.

"We need to talk." His face was very uncharastically serious, Soul could almost sense how nervous seeing him serious was making Maka.

Had something gone wrong?

Bad news about her mom?

Was Blair carrying a soon to be half-sister?

Soul was just about to avoid barging in on whatever odd father/daughter moment was about to happen by using the earbuds that still tied himself and Maka together when Spirit clarified.

"I need to talk to both of you. About a serious matter."

"What is it Papa?"

"Well you see, Stein mentioned the assignment your class has and I thought about how we've never had this talk and I'm sure Shark boy didn't listen even if he had this talk."

"A talk about what?"

Spirit fidgeted nervously and sighed "I knew this day would come, I really did. You see Maka, there are birds and there are bees-"

"Papa! No!" Maka yanked Soul by the hand, all too egar to escape her father and the conversation he was trying to have of course Spirit caught her other hand.

"We have to discuss this Maka."

"No we really, really don't."

"But these are things you need to know."

"I took biology Papa!"

"But this is different than Biology."

"No it's really not."

"Yes, it is. You see sweetie, there are birds, and there are bees."

"There are none of those things!" Maka's face was slowly but surely gaining a pink tint

"Yes, there are. You see the bird-"

"No, no I don't see anything!"

"You see bees have stingers and they love to just run around and stick those stingers in everything, much like men-" Maka rose a hand to silence him

"This talk is stupid, male bees usually don't sting." Nudging her father away from Soul's bike she scoffed "I don't need to hear the talk from someone like you who is a perfect example of it."

Soul thought that Spirit was going to melt under her fiery glare.

"but, I- I just want to look out for my l-little girl in a situation like this."

She untangled Soul's ear buds allowing him to be able to better drive "Just because I have to be within three feet of Soul for the next five days doesn't mean we're going to give you grandkids just because you would do something that perverted!"

"G-grandkids? Maka please don't!" he obviously hadn't listened to many words she had said besides grandkids.

"Leaving now."

Soul didn't even had to ask if it was okay to drive off, given that they had just narrowly missed being forced to have a very awkward discussion with Spirit Albarn of all people. He couldn't wait to go home and nap it was much deserved. It was at the final red-light before home that Soul realized a terrible truth, Maka never naps.

He most likely wouldn't be napping today.

Tsubaki had dreaded the next few days upon being given the assignment, but she had to cautiously admit to herself that so far, things weren't so bad. She was used to dealing with Blackstar's antics and the two already shared a bedroom since their apartment was so small so it wasn't like either of them could be too bothered by a lack of personal space. She felt confident as the two entered their apartment, this wouldn't be so bad and maybe, just maybe Blackstar could make a grade higher than a C for once.

"What's for dinner?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted anything in particular."

"Ah yes, a wise idea to ask the great me what he desires." The assassin paused in thought "I require doughnuts."

"Blackstar that isn't dinner food."

"Origini?"

"Much better."

"Well then, I'm going to go beat my high score on-" Tsubaki stopped him just before he had moved too far away.

"Blackstar you can't if I'm going to cook. Remember we have to stay within three feet."

"Nobody's here to see."

"Professor Stein is using his wavelength so he would know."

"I'm calling his bluff."

"But what if it's not a lie?" She hadn't considered the possibility of Stein not being able to monitor them all as they were told. "We can't risk it. Do you really want to have to take more remedial lessons?"

"Those remedial lessons are almost as below me as this assignment."

"That doesn't mean you can just cheat on it."

Blackstar smirked, Tsubaki always dreaded his smirks "It's not cheating, just a shortcut is all."

"No Blackstar."

He sighed, giving up but only for the time being. "In that case let's just have sandwiches for dinner because I really have to defend my high score."

It wasn't the healthiest request but Tsubaki couldn't really say she minded not having to cook. This would all work out; the only thing that stood in their way was the awkward task of bathroom events, of course Tsubaki planned to avoid that for as long as she possibly could.

Kidd was having a ruff evening, Patty had puked on his shoes, Liz was in a terribly irate mood, and he missed his personal space. It was true, he enjoyed the Thompson sisters' company but the young shinigami wasn't sure if he could really take another song about Penguins or listen to Liz grumble over her own lack of privacy. Aside from lacking space, Kidd couldn't stand the asymmetry, the differences in height, hair, chest size, it was maddening.

Patty's loud announcement of "Its' bath time!" only made Kidd more uneasy, not only was all of his personal space getting tossed out the window but without clothes the sisters were sure to be more asymmetrical than ever before.

"We can't."

"Kidd you don't understand what it is to be a girl, if we don't get to clean up it's horrible. Just suck it up and deal with this. It's not like we're not naked in weapon form and we were going to wear bikinis anyway."

"You'll both wear different bikinis won't you?"

"Did you just seriously-"

"You must match if we're doing this Liz."

He was tired, too tired but if they were going to do this then they would have to at least match to some extent the trio spent hours searching for matching bikinis in the Gallows Mannor and finally succeeded. Of course after all was said and done it was already two in the morning and sleeping in the same bed with the sisters was far more distracting to Kidd's sleep pattern than he felt it should be.


	3. Freshmen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul is jealous?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fairly dialogue heavy and I'm afraid a lot of characters and a lot of speaking is usually where my writing needs work at ._.;~

Maka always had an extensive vocabulary, but she couldn't form the right set of words to describe her feelings for the situation at hand.

Mortification?

Embarrassment?

Rage?

She was a swirling mix of all these things and Soul wasn't helping the situation.

"For the love of god Maka just pee already!"

"I can't! Not with you here!"

"Well what else do you want me to do aside from us just saying to hell with this assignment. You blindfolded me and I've had Party Rockers blasting into my ears on loop for at least ten minutes now!"

Soul would later recall this moment as the moment when that particular song had been ruined for him forever.

"Get behind the shower curtain so I don't have to know that you're here!"

And with that, most of their first night together was spent in the bathroom and Soul contemplated the consequences of cutting the itchy nylon rope Maka had replaced his ear-buds with to keep the two together.

Far be it from Soul to not bring up the troubles at lunch the next day.

"I didn't have that problem because girls don't poop."

There was no way the ninja could really believe that.

"Blackstar that's idiotic, don't tell me you actually think that." Liz sighed, shaking her head

"They don't."

"We are just not going to tackle this subject right now." Tsubaki seemed to have hardly slept the night before and her usual tolerance of Blackstar was waning.

Of course Maka was the first to notice Tsubaki's shortened temper and general lethargy "You feel okay Tsubaki?"

"I'm fine."

"Alright then." She dropped the subject for the time being, if Tsubaki didn't want to tell her there was no point in asking.

"Who do you all think were the first teams to crack anyway?"

Soul was the first to eagerly answer Patty's question with a mouth full of food "mmm probably Kilik and the little ones. Sure they're together 24/7 but I don't see the two of them cooperating. Next up will either be you two and Kidd or Blackstar and Tsubaki."

"Who's to say it won't be you and Maka? Aren't you being a little full of yourself?"

He waved a hand dismissively "Chill, chill, just saying that all the asymmetry is going to cause Kidd to crack sooner rather than later and well Blackstar is Blackstar; if Tsubaki is already losing sleep within one day she won't make it all five."

Kidd resembled a kicked puppy, he let out a small whimper and burst into tears "He's right! I'm trash! Garbage! I don't deserve to be a Shinigami! I am going to fail one stupid assignment because I am a horrible person! I'm going to let my weapons down, my teacher down and my father down!"

"Hey Kidd easy there, you're not garbage."

"Yes I am! Asymmetrical garbage!"

Patty joined Liz in trying to comfort the young reaper "You're not Kiddo, you can do this don't worry we won't let you crack."

"You'll ditch me yourselves."

"No, we swear we won't" Liz's eyes glinted dangerously towards Soul "and when we make it all five days Soul can do a punishment game."

"I never agreed to that."

"Too bad. And if we don't make it all five days then Soul can give the three of us a punishment game." Liz smirked "Don't waste your time thinking too hard on it Soul-y boy."

"Fine then it's a deal." Soul knew his chances of winning were all too high so he'd have to think up a good punishment game.

"Hey, wait a sec, if anyone should get punished for doubting anyone it's for doubting the great me and Tsubaki. Same thing Liz said Soul."

"Fine, I can think up two punishments."

"Well you'll definetly need to come up with something for Blackstar Soul, you know he won't last, that much we can agree on."

"Fine then Liz, if you want to be that way. Once Tsubaki and I prove you wrong then punishment game for you!"

"Whatever you say."

And just like that more than grades were on the line, the pig-tailed meister rolled her eyes before taking her attention back to her book, at least now Soul would be better motivated not to give the assignment up.

Among the first teams to crack within the first day was Kilik's team, Maka didn't have to look at Soul's face to know he had a very self-satisfied smirk aimed at Liz upon hearing this announcement. Aside from the brief announcement and reminder that cheating would be zero-tolerance class ran like any other day. Stein dissected a lemur and the students were all to take notes on its muscle anatomy.

It was during the afternoon when Maka and Soul had to stop by the lost and found that things started to get out of control.

All because Maka managed to lose her notebook.

"Soul this is serious! I could fail everything without it."

"It's not that big-a-deal. It's just a notebook and the only vital notes are your recent ones so just copy off of Tsubaki is no one turns it in by tomorrow."

"It's a huge deal! I need all of my notes for finals and that's a lot to copy all over again."

He rolled his eyes "Whatever. Can we just go home already?"

"This is all your fault."

"How's it my fault?"

"You've been rushing me around all day. I'd never lose my notebook if I were on my own time."

"Well if you hate it so much then just take the D on the assignment, I don't care about a punishment game and I definitely don't care about a stupid grade."

Soul was sure Maka would have responded with some kind of physical pain causing activity but she was distracted by someone else.

"Is this yours?"

Soul had seen the boy around campus before, he was a freshmen weapon.

Maka gasped, her eyes automatically lighting up with joy "Yes it is! Where did you find it? Thank you so, so much!"

"No problem really." He handed Maka the notebook and she practically hugged it as he continued speaking "I found it in the lunchroom and I almost didn't bother brining it here but I figured anyone that makes notes that detailed would probably not want to lose them."

"At least someone understands." Soul didn't need to see her face because he could feel the icy knives of her glare on him.

"Well not everyone takes their studying seriously right? It's a matter of motivation I guess." The boy brushed his slightly curly mop of brown hair in a somewhat shy way. He was so awkward and wussy-like it almost made Soul sick. He already knew where this was going and he didn't like it at all.

"Well if I intend to be half the meister my mother was I've got to get everything right."

"Who is your mom?"

"Kami."

"Ah! I know that name; she's the one who made the current Death Scythe, that would mean you're his-"

Maka stopped the boy with a wave of her hand "That man is hardly my father."

"Oh… but then if that's the case how-"

Soul decided to step in since the poor boy obviously couldn't take a hint and needed the situation to be spelled out to him.

"Family drama, pretty lame."

"Ah, sorry then. But I didn't realize it until now; you're the student with the Anti-Demon Wavelength in Professor Stein's class. I've heard about you before."

"You have?"

"Yeah one of my sophomore friends told me you did a demonstration last year."

"Ah yeah I got extra credit for it too."

"If you don't mind me asking, why is everyone in Professor Stein's class tied together?"

"Oh it's this resonance assignment, kind of weird but I'm sure there's a point to it."

"How is it? I mean I feel like you wouldn't have any privacy kinda seems like the short end of the stick for you."

"It's kind of a lose-lose thing so I don't really think I get the short end of the stick."

"Oh I just thought that since your partner is a guy and all, unless you're."

"No-no we're not at all. I mean it's been hard keeping privacy but Soul isn't at all interested in someone like me."

"Oh well if that's the case then how about we hang out sometime next week?"

"I guess that would be fine."

"Can I get your number?"

"Oh yeah it's," Maka tore a lose sheet of paper from her notebook and was just about to start writing before Soul took her free hand.

"You're busy next week."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Soul."

"Maka."

"Ah right then I see how it is. Have a nice afternoon then." At least the boy had taken that hint and automatically left the two with a shy and awkward wave.

"Soul, what the hell was that?" Maka's face was flushed and her lips had formed into an angry pout, she almost resembled a ticked-off-toddler.

"What the hell was what?"

"You know what."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do, you did that on purpose. Is it really so bad that someone might like me?" Too bad Maka sucked at taking hints.

"I was saving the guy pain. He's too young to realize what he was going after anyway; he'll want to thank me in the future."

"Saving him the…" Maka bashed a book into Soul's skull "You're such a jerk, I cannot believe you!"

"Ow! That fucking hurt, why the hell are you so damn violent?"

Another whap to the head "Jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk!"

And after one extremely awful ride home the two entered the apartment arguing about anything and everything causing Blair to decide to leave and bringing this story back to where it started.

"You did not have that red-light Soul, you almost got us killed."

"Need I remind you that you weren't the one driving? I can handle my bike I'm not going to get us killed on it."

"You didn't see how close that car was apparently."

"We are fine aren't we? So I must have been right."

"That's not the point."

"Don't you at least trust me to drive a fucking motorcycle?"

"You don't trust me when it comes to who I talk to."

"Oh not this again."


	4. Misconceptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the rumors begin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This site now has my update priority, updates will be posted here days earlier than on FF.net

Usually after a fight Maka and Soul would each go to their room and brood for a few hours then all would be well. That wasn't going to happen in this case since they weren't allowed to have any space for said brooding.

He sighed, it shouldn't take anyone so long to stir honey into their tea, and even if it did she could at least take it to the living room so he could sit down.

"What the hell is your problem?" This was at least the third sigh Soul had made and one more sigh was going to push her over the edge of sanity. If something was wrong then he needed to tell her what it was rather than just making irritating noises. Who knew someone could make a simple sight be so irritating anyway?

"My problem? You're the one snapping at me for every little thing."

She licked the spoon clean of the last remnants of honey before making a snarling sound at Soul "I'm not snapping. I'm asking a question. Like a civil adult."

"That is not a civil way to ask a damn question Maka. Unless it's in comparison to cracking my skull with a book anyway."

He'd pretty much dared her to do it.

"Maka chop!"

Of course Maka wasn't thinking clearly and hit Soul hard enough for him to hit the floor. The nylon chord that was tied to each of their wrists caused Soul to yank Maka down with him and her head to bash (just shy of her left eye) into the kitchen counter.

"S-shit… ow."

"Now you know how I feel. Karma's a bitch huh?"

"Shut up Soul." Maka stood up quickly, yanking Soul with her. "It was all your fault anyway." She opened the freezer, the door missing contact with Soul's face by a few centimeters and pulled out an icepack (she made sure there were two on hand at all times).

"Hey while you're in there grab one for m-"

"Get it yourself I'm not your damn slave!"

And that's when Soul noticed her face, and the swelling already centered around her left eye. He couldn't help but be a little immature and laugh "You're gonna have a black eye!"

"What?" She gasped and yanked him towards the bathroom with her. "Shiiiiit" She hissed staring into the mirror.

"Karma." Soul stuck his tongue out at her in a rather immature gesture, it wasn't that he didn't care that she got hurt but he'd seen Maka bounce back from a fractured wrist and still win a battle with a kishin a black eye was hardly that serious.

"It's not funny!"

It was funny, until the next day at school anyway.

Taubaki had done the ultimate naïve move of trust. She'd untied Blackstar from herself trusting him to just stay within three feet of her without needed to force him. The bet had fueled his will to do well in this assignment and he'd even stopped talking about cheating.

The two had walked into Professor Stein's classroom, early for a change; and she noticed Maka's recently acquired "battle scar". Tsubaki quickly remembered that there was no way Maka would attempt taking a mission since Soul getting knocked from her hands in weapon form could mean she'd fail the assignment.

"Maka what happened to your eye."

"Long story." The pig-tailed meister glared at her weapon "Soul decided that he was going to be a jackass an-"

Leave it to Blackstar to jump to conclusions before hearing the full explanation.

"Soul what the hell is wrong with you?"

The assassin lurched forward at the scythe, punching him in the jaw and effectively moving just slightly too far from Tsubaki.

Soul was sure his nose had never bled this much ever, even when Blair was naked on top of him.

"How fucking dare you do that to Maka! Do you want to die?" He reared back for another punch, Maka both not wanting to get knocked back with Soul, trying to keep him from getting killed and not wanting the boys to fight without a teacher at least present shoved the ninja away.

"Let me finish explaining at least! Soul didn't hit me or anything. I hit him, he fell down and I got drug with him and hit the counter!"

"Oh." Blackstar instantly looked remorseful "Shit, sorry dude, fuck"

Soul groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose lightly to attempt to quell his nosebleed to no avail. "S'cool dude. You're playing the punishment game though." Soul couldn't help but smirk despite his pain, he'd won at least this much.

"What?"

"Afraid so." Tsubaki sighed; the insane professor wheeled himself into the classroom and clarified for Blackstar.

"A few more hours within range of each other and you two could have pulled a C."

Realization hit him like a train and the scream of "Damn it!" could be heard all over campus.

Meanwhile at Gallows Mannor, the "World's Most Unsymmetrical Trio" as Kidd had dubbed them, hadn't managed to make it out of the front door in order to make it to school.

"Kidd, please just leave it alone."

"I can't Liz! It's horrible, if I leave it alone I'll think about it all day!"

Seriously, who cared this much about how straight a rug was?

"We're already really late, any later and Professor Stein is going to try to dissect you to study Shinigami."

Patty cackled "He's going to cut you open like a fish! Shinigami-Sushi!"

"Patty, please motivate Kidd."

The younger sister smirked, she leaned in close to Kidd's ear "If you don't get your ass moving right now I'll shave half of your head bald and force you to watch a marathon of Cat-Dog while sitting in a room that's only half painted."

His scream of horror at the mental image beat Blackstar's earlier scream and was heard throughout Death City.

"Look Tsubaki, I'm really sorry."

Tsubaki was taken by surprise with this sudden onslaught of apology, it was very unlike Blackstar to apologize, he never apologized for any failed missions after all. "Eh?"

"I really screwed up."

"Well to be fair, it was my idea to untie us in the first place."

"Yeah because you trusted me not to screw up and I did."

"Don't worry about it. We didn't fail at least and it was a sweet gesture to stick up for Maka like that."

"So you're not even a little upset?"

She couldn't help but laugh a bit "Honestly I'm relieved."

"Yahoo!" Blackstar froze "Wait a sec, does that mean you didn't like being stuck together?"

"Well I do like being able to shower in some form of privacy, the men's room is terrifying and I was starting to wonder if we were going to have to live on potato chips and sandwiches. Those things aside."

"Of course you enjoy my godly presence! In fact, just to prove that we could pull the assignment off if not for my heroism, we'll stay tied together for seven days!"

No, no, she couldn't do it, she wouldn't do it; two days, nearly three had been bad enough she would not go seven days straight without being able to pee at her own pace!

"How about we not worry about trying to prove ourselves."

"You're right! A god like me has nothing to prove to non believers, they're all just jealous anyway."

While being stuck with Maka and Nygus prodding his sore nose in the infirmary Soul had decided that he'd have to come up with something good for Blackstar's punishment game. Grudges were uncool but so was breaking the nose of your best friend because you thought he might have given his meister a black-eye.

But at least Maka was trying to be a little nicer now.

"We can go home if you want."

"Nah, might as well see who else failed the assignment today, besides if I come up with a good punishment for Blackstar I want to see to it that he does it as soon as possible."

"Real mature Soul."

Of course, Blackstar wasn't the only person on campus to have jumped to conclusions about Maka's black eye. A certain freshmen had caught a glimpse of her and said freshman's class also happened to get subbed by none other than Death Scythe.

Given the meister's weapon's seemingly controlling and stand-offish attitude the day before, telling the girl's father of his concerns seemed like the logical thing to do.

"You wanted to talk to me in private Mr. Razer-Edge?"

"Yes." he was somewhat hesitant to form his words but after he messily uttered his concerns to the Death Scythe he could tell that he might be counted as an accomplice to murder once this was all over. Maybe being a good Samaritan wasn't the best idea.


	5. Papa to the Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death Scythe is out for blood.

He was going to kill him, slowly, painfully and publicly all after making sure that if the boy did somehow survive he would never be able to reproduce.

Nobody hurts Maka, plain and simple.

Death Scythe strode briskly towards the office; he’d ask for the boy’s class schedule and yank him from class to exact his punishment. After this was all over he could move his daughter out of that horrible apartment, find her a nice pretty girl weapon and forever be known as her savior. Everything was going to work out perfectly.

Unless of course, all classes had ended for the day. No matter, Spirit had spent many a day stalki- err… monitoring his daughter. He knew where she and Soul usually went after class and where they usually parked Soul’s death trap of a bike.

Spirit wasn’t surprised to see Soul’s nose bandaged, after-all his baby-girl was quite capable of fending for herself, it was only natural that she would make sure to knock the boy around for hurting her. Maka’s capability was hardly the point in this case; it was his duty as a father to avenge her!

“So should we have the chicken or the ribs tonight?”

Soul shrugged “Whichever really, you know how I feel about chicken more than three nights a week though.”

“True, ribs it is then.”

They should have seen it coming the movement Maka ended up with the black eye.

“You no good octopus haired shark-teeth albino punk!”

Maybe the array of insults wasn’t anything new from the Death Scythe, but the brandished blades definitely weren’t a common site.

“Papa?”

“Oh shit Maka he’s going to kill me!”

“You’re damn right I’m going to kill you! Nobody harms my little darling daughter!”

“Papa!”

“Save me!” Soul ducked behind Maka in a feeble attempt to buy her some time to explain her bruise to the man.

“Don’t you cower behind her you no good punk!”

“Papa!”

“It’s all right now Maka, Papa’s here to take care of this.” He reached over Maka’s shoulder to grab Soul but lucky for Soul, Maka just happened to have a book handy.

“Maka chop!”

“Ow! Maka daddy’s only trying to hel-”

Another whack to the head

“Baby!”

And another

“Papa you idiot you’re embarrassing me! Soul didn’t give me a black eye!”

“He didn’t?”

Another whack to the head just for good measure.

“No! That’s an idiotic assumption anyway! We’re going home now.”

Maybe he really had jumped the gun in believing the freshmen, after all it’s likely that many boys found his darling little girl attractive and saw Soul as a threat and Maka’s black eye could have been a freak accident. There was still the issue of Soul’s broken nose; it would be an insanely unlikely coincidence. Maybe Maka was in deep denial? Spirit would take his concerns to the one person he knew could help him with this matter.

If he didn’t stop crying she was going to crush him.

It’s not that Marie wasn’t an emphatic person, quite the contrary actually, she felt for Spirit and after Kami left him she’d offered a bit of help to the Death Scythe even if the split was his fault.

But this was too much.

Not only had he been wailing to her in such an obnoxious way that she couldn’t even understand him, but it had also been at least twenty minutes and she was officially late for her date.

“Spirit seriously, I have no idea what you’re trying to say.”

“she’s so…” insert loud sobbing fit “my Maka is-” and another bout of sobs.

“What? What’s wrong with her?”

“She doesn’t-” who knew a grown man could cry in such an irritating way? “That octopus bastard”

“Are you talking about Soul?”

He had another fit of wailing in which Marie had no idea what he was trying to say.

“Is she pregnant or something?”

It definitely was the wrong question to ask as it made the Death Scythe’s blubbering even worse.

She would just call Maka and ask her.

If Spirit ever let go of her legs.

So much for date night.

There were a lot of awful things about being stuck to his partner. He couldn’t avoid her abusive chops, he had to stick to her sleeping schedule, she made him look at his school work, they got into idiotic fights that caused people to think he’d given her a black eye, her gum chewing was annoying, she expected him to be okay with random guys hitting on her and she sang horrible songs while being horribly tone-deaf.

But at least her lap made a nice place to nap, if she had any complaints she could file them to his broken nose, which she felt slightly responsible for.

Of course Maka’s cell phone would start vibrating in his ear right as he started to doze off because clearly there was no god.

“Hello?”

She was making an odd face “Err, Miss Marie? Yeah of course Soul’s with me right now, we have that assignment after all.”

“Of course I’m fine. Papa didn’t let us have a chance to explain anything. I hit Soul with a textbook and when he was falling down I got yanked with him because we’re tied together, my head hit the kitchen counter which is how I got the black eye. Blackstar thought the same thing which is why Soul’s nose got broken, Nygus saw him right after it happened so you can ask her if you don’t believe me.”

After Maka chattered on with the Death Scythe for a few minutes they exchanged farewells and she hung up her phone with an exasperated sigh.

“I don’t think she believed me at all. This week really needs to end already.”

Because if Soul wasn’t irritating her with his sluggishness; then the rest of the world was concerned he was beating her.

Death The Kidd was currently in the process of learning a new lesson all together.

Makeup.

The girls had gotten bored and after they’d managed to pin him down to complete one eye’s eyeliner he had no choice but to let them finish; least he be unsymmetrical.

“Green eye shadow would really bring out his eye color, don’t ya think Patty?”

The younger sibling nodded “but you still have to make sure his nails match.”

“No way, we’re not going there.” Kidd couldn’t call himself the most manly man, after all he took personal grooming more serious than most men, he cared more about the condition of his clothing than his weapons and had he ever had the misfortune to have a pimple he wouldn’t waste a second when it came to covering it up with some sort of makeup. But nail coloring was a little too much especially on top of eye shadow.

“But Kidd, without a matching nail color it won’t be perfect.”

Liz knew how to press all of his buttons, there was no way he could say no now.

Hours later and after the girls had “completed” his “girl look” Kidd was going to put his foot down, it was one thing to subject him to that, (symmetrical or not) but it was another to want to take pictures.

“Patty, give me the camera.”

“But Kidd.” Not even Liz’s rare pout could deter him from his mission.

“The camera.”

Oh course Patty would never listen to him; she started snapping away screeching “Too late, documented history!”

And when he lunched forward to try and get the camera, Patty moved and when Patty moved it was just slightly too far, due to Kidd’s need for perfection he hadn’t tied the three together even after watching Blackstar and Tsubaki accidently split. Somewhere not so far away, Professor Stein was giving them a C.

Such a unsymmetrical grade, and to make matters even worse, unless Soul and Maka somehow screwed up before they realized he had (provided Stein wasn’t a tattle tale) then he’d have to subject himself to some sort of punishment game which would probably include his home becoming horribly askew.

He would never be able to come outside again!

His life was over!

Trashed!

As good as a pile of asymmetrical garbage!

He would officially be worthless!

Nothing!

A poor excuse for a Shinigami a-

Luckily Liz was able to pull him out of his “mind-fit” (which last for a few hours) and back into some boy clothes.

“We might have made a C on the assignment, but we’re not the only one who are making a C tonight, and there isn’t going to be a punishment game!”

Patty was cackling rather evilly and while Kidd respected Soul and Maka and friends and comrades, he’d have to be underhanded to avoid a horrible punishment. In the end it would be worth it.


	6. Sabotage

It didn't take long for the young Shinigami to realize that even with the help of Liz and Patty he still wasn't capable of doing something underhanded all alone.  
He'd need help.

He'd need someone that lacked a high level of empathy

He'd need Blackstar.

Too bad there was an obstacle in his way blocking the entrances of Blackstar's apartment; a tall, dark haired obstacle that usually didn't put her foot down for any of the idiotic things usually thrown her way.

"You really can't do that to Maka, it's not fair at all."

"She'll have a C; it won't even hurt her overall grade at this point to make a C." in her eagerness to assume Kidd wouldn't have to have whatever horrible symmetry fit the punishment would mean Liz had taken the time to do a little mental math. She didn't want to involve Blackstar and Tsubaki but after Kidd proposed it she knew she'd need to plead their case to Tsubaki.

"All we have to do it cause Maka's sleep to get interrupted and her to think Soul did it; they'll argue and probably accidentally split so it'll really be their fault not ours." Kidd couldn't believe the words that were easily slipping from his lips, this was so wrong but he couldn't bear the thought of dealing with asymmetry.

"You could end up messing up their soul resonance." Tsubaki was still unconvinced

"They argued for twenty minutes this afternoon over if it was morally ethical to sneak snacks into a movie theater and they were fine. They always argue and they're always fine."

Meanwhile Patty had gotten bored of the back and fourth debate; she shoved Blackstar out of his bed- he was a rather deep sleeper. "Get up we're going to sabotage Soul and Maka on this bet!"

"We're what?" The assassin rubbed his eyes groggily

After a short bargaining session in which Liz convinced Blackstar that helping Soul and Maka to lose the bet and playing it off as if she Kid and Patty had won would mean they'd go easy on the punishment they were supposed to assign him. If Maka and Soul were allowed to win he knew this wouldn't be the case. Aside from all that Maka needed to stop taking school so seriously and this assignment was ridiculous; getting her and Soul to separate would be doing them a favor.

"I'm in."

Tsubaki's earlier arguments were now all invalid with those two words.

Soul and Maka were blissfully unaware of the plotting against them; Maka was sound asleep while Soul was fiddling with his cell phone in the dark. This had become a coping ritual for him since he was such a night owl and Maka insisted on going to bed so early.

It was nearing midnight when Soul decided he'd become too bored with looking at random images of cats (memes are cool); he was just about to turn off his phone and go to sleep for the night when he heard something at his window.

He groaned and rolled over; it was probably the wind.

Once again a light knocking on the window.

Damn it Blair must have lost her key again or something.

"Maka, cat's at the window."

"Mmm soul resonance, witch hunter…"

"Maka stop hunting kishin in your sleep and wake up."

Soul had learned during the first night of the assignment that Maka was a rather vocal sleeper who often had dreams of hunting kishin; how boring.

He nudged her a few times "I think Blair wants in and unless you want to fail this assignment I need you to get up with me so I can let her in."

She groaned and sat up; Soul didn't need anymore light than what was seeping in through the curtains from the streetlights to know she was glaring at him.

"You suck." There was a reason Maka was usually in charge of waking Soul up aside from the fact that Soul usually slept later.

"Not my damn fault." Soul took Maka's hand and tugged her up with him; all the while she vocally protested with various sounds of disagreement; he would remember this the next time she had to make a bathroom trip in the middle of the night.

If Maka had been in her right-alert mind she would have noticed a familiar soul that didn't belong to Blair perched right underneath the window. If Soul had thought a little longer he would have remembered Blair hadn't left the apartment to begin with that night.

"Wake up!" The voice of Blackstar boomed as his fist (which was only intended to knock loudly on the window) crashed through the window.

And into Soul's face.

If Maka had kept caution over comfort and kept the two tied together while they slept she would have been tugged back with Soul when he was punched; and they wouldn't have accidentally split up when Maka; suddenly very alert kicked Blackstar sending him into a free fall to the ground below.

"You idiot what the hell are you doing here at this time of-" Maka stopped yelling down to the boy who sat on the ground (somehow mostly unharmed) mid sentence… realization at hit her.

"You can't be serious." This meant they'd made a C.

She looked to Soul, who looked back at her; he wasn't sure who was going to die first for this, surly Blackstar deserved it but he was the closest target. Two punches to the face in 24 hours from Blackstar really should excuse him from his impending doom right?

"Maka, can I go stop my nosebleed?" Maybe pointing out his injury would get her to stay on his side.

"Oh wow aren't you two kinky! But I knew it was only a matter of time, with you two having to sleep together." Blair pranced into the room in her cat form "Wow Soul I've never seen you get a nosebleed like that. Maka whatever you're doing; I'll need you to teach me."

Before either the weapon or meister could formulate a vocal response to Blair's comment she'd pranced out of the room leaving the two with a wink. During this Blackstar had climbed back up to the window and perched himself sitting half inside of the apartment.

"What's up guys?"

Soul could swear he saw fire in Maka's eyes "What's up? What's up?" She took a hasty breath "You want to know what's up?"

Blackstar nodded, Soul wondered if it was possible for him to look anymore innocent about the situation.

Maka yanked the ninja by his shirt collar "Don't play innocent with me! You just made me get a freaking C, give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you!"

Soul used this opportunity to tend to his- once again wounded nose.

Upon his, now full-of-friend room Soul couldn't help but think his friends were reaching angry mob mentality.

"I just couldn't handle the threat of asymmetry!" So apparently this was all planned by Death The Kid of all people; Soul didn't bother pretending he wasn't a bit surprised by the reaper stooping to such a level.

"But now Ox is going to have the top place in class. You're so selfish sometimes." If only Maka understood how ironic her words were as she pouted over her C grade.

"I tried to talk them out of it Maka." Of course she did, but no one listens to poor Tsubaki.

"I knew this bet was a stupid idea." Liz sighed.

Among the scattered apologies and groaning over how stupid everything had become Soul decided to cut in with an idea of his own- destined to complicate things even further.

"Do we know for sure Ox and Harver haven't split yet?"

Maka smirked "You're not thinking about-"

Soul couldn't help but grin "I think we can all agree that if anyone in our class makes an A, it can't be Ox. After all you guys remember how he lorded his grade over everyone that week Maka had the flu and he beat her by a few points."

Of course Maka couldn't forget his stupid grin, hell everyone had been annoyed by him that week; Kim even threatened to castrate him.

"Soul this went bad enough, I think we've learned enough about how wrong sabotage is…" Good thing no one was going to listen to Tsubaki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my return after so long is such a short chapter, I do plan to spend much of today working on this; but this seemed like a good stopping point. I'm also going to try and fit more SoMa into this because I've been lacking in that department through this story and I know a lot of people are reading this for the potential pairings as well so I should probably do more than just hints right?


End file.
